Finding Empowerment In Solitude
Why being alone doesn’t have to mean you’re lonely.
I’m going to preface this article by stating that life alone is not better than life with a partner. Similarly, life with a partner is not better than life alone. There are pros and cons to everything in this wild universe, and this is no exception. Everyone has a place in this world, and your identity, purpose, and happiness is not tied to another human. Your purpose is just that, your purpose. Your identity is just that, your identity. Your happiness is… I think you get the point.
About a month ago, I came up with a mantra:
You can never be lonely if you consider yourself a friend.
I tell myself this almost every day, especially during moments of solitude.
I’m going to turn to my old friend, Dictionary.com here. The word lonely, according to them, is a “depressing feeling of being alone”. Let’s focus in on the word depressing. Who the heck equated solitude with depression?! And why is it still such a hot topic?
I’m sure you’ve heard it… Family members and distant relatives love to hit you with the “Oh, you’re single? I’m sorry”, or, my personal favourite, “You’re such a pretty girl, how are you still not seeing anyone?”. Why is solitude, or singleness, something to be fixed or to feel sorry for? I feel I am perfectly whole on my own. Even more, I’m perfectly happy on my own, too.
There’s something so empowering about doing something solely for you, and solely because you want to. Sure, sharing your passions, dreams, and even just facts about your day with someone is nice. It’s comforting. But, with that said, why does society consider this to be better than being alone? I don’t think it is. You can create passions on your own and work on them eagerly until you’re comfortable sharing them with others. You can set dreams and goals to make yourself proud. Now is your time to do it all on your own, and that’s not a bad thing. You can do it.
Does this mean you should be alone forever? Of course not! Sharing your life with someone is so incredibly beautiful, but I think we need to feel whole on our own before we go looking for that extra beauty. We’re not halves, we’re complete entirely on our own. We simply have to strive to find the compliment, not the ‘missing piece’.
I’m going to end this entry with some food for thought: you are going to be there for yourself through it all. So, how could you ever feel lonely if you consider yourself (and I mean, really, really consider yourself) a friend? Or better yet, a best friend? A freaking partner! You are your №1. You are the peanut butter to your jelly. Own it, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
